Are you ready to boldly go underneath the skirts of a few lady Star Fleet officers? This week, Playboy TV’s “engaging” its most ambitious TAKE OFF yet! Oh yes, we’re talking about STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION – A PARODY. Sporting a budget that would put most independent movies to shame, this flick’s got interplanetary explorations, exotic alien babes and a cast that looks nearly identical to the classic Enterprise crew. And just like every TAKE OFF, it’s got tons of steamy scenes to “beam up” that photon blaster in your pants! There’s Data the android letting a MILF play with his mechanical member. And how about seeing Worf the Klingon clinging on to a pair of supple DD’s?! Throw in a horndog Captain Pecker-ard, Kimberly Kane as Dr. Crusher and naked female clones and you’ve got yourself one helluva intergalactic party on your hands. Make sure to check out the big budget trailer for a sneak peek of what’s to come.

Word of warning, HALLOWEEN: A PARODY may be one of the darkest TAKE OFFS we’ve ever aired. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. This movie is turning down the camp factor and turning up the thrills! You’ll literally be jumping in your seat when you see our masked killer hunt down sexy pornstars like Andy San Dimas and Lexi Belle. Only instead of pulling a knife out of his pocket, he’s got another “instrument” to penetrate them with. It’s funny how quickly screams of fear can turn into moans of pleasure. And that’s exactly what’ll be happening here, as our frightened coeds learn to embrace the Wang of Michael Myers! Fans of the original movie will get some fun recreations too, including a whole new naked twist to that opening scene. You may want to bring someone to cuddle up with when HALLOWEEN: A PARODY kicks off (or at least leave the porch light on). Catch the big premiere, Saturday March 17 at 11pm E/P!

In between jaw dropping stunts on BADASS, jaw dropping nakedness on PLATMATES!, and jaw dropping reality on SWING, you may find yourself in need of a comedic pick-me-up (or at least your pants might). Not to worry Playboy TV fans, we’ve got the perfect balance of hilarity and hornitude with our LOL clip show, THE STASH. Think of it like the R-Rated movie you always wanted to sneak in to as a kid. There’s boob flashes, dirty jokes, and a super hot leading lady who loves pushing the envelope. Except in THE STASH’s case, “R” is considered tame (heck, NC-17 is family-friendly ‘round these parts). We’ve put together a laugh fest for mature eyes only! Every week, THE STASH is skewering the movies we love to get naked to. Classic peepshow flicks from the 70’s, modern day fetish fests, and tons more. Because let’s be honest, underneath the hot n’ heavy sex scenes, you know these movies are laugh fests waiting to happen.

Let’s just say we were feeling a bit groovy this month. Even though the disco era is long behind us, our two big December premieres are all about stirring up some of that Saturday Night Sex Fever. Come along in our classic TV time machine as we TAKE-OFF two classics from a hardcore era gone by. First up, it’s the ragtag bunch of cabbies from TAXI: A HARDCORE PARODY. Recreating the legendary sitcom to a tee, this TAKE-OFF’s got that instrumental intro, Nardo’s big knockers, and Ron Jeremy doing a picture perfect Danny DeVito impression. But beyond that, it’s taking those HBO Taxicab Confessions fantasies to a whole new naughty level. Not only are we getting the gang to hook up in the garage, we’re taking them on the road! Streetwalkers, party girls, and sweet Jenny Hendrix are sticking their thumbs out on the sidewalk and we’re answering the call! Don’t have enough fare for a ride to the strip club? No problem.

All you skin biz studios and starlets, consider yourself warned! THE STASH is opening up its man cave doors once again and putting all of those corny porn movies on notice. Since the big premiere back in March, Rachel Perry and company have taken the R-Rated comedy world by storm. Sites across the web have praised her brash style, razor-sharp jokes, and “potty mouthed” delivery. And judging from the online responses we’ve gotten, it’s clear you guys feel the same way. So, you guessed it, THE STASH is comin’ back for more! Starting this month, we’ve got a brand new season of episodes that are stuffed tight with the twisted clips you know and love (porn clowns and all!). Since our summer hiatus, there have been plenty of developments in the adult world that are in need of STASH-erizing. And our crack research team has assembled A TON of material guaranteed harden up your funny bone. This season we’ve got giant chickens in the bedroom, “Invisible Horndogs,” LEGO-inspired sex toys, and all of those zany commercial spoofs you know and love.