We’ve got to say “Bravo” to Bravo! The Real Housewives cable channel has given us some great material for a TAKE OFF this month. Oh yes, we’re talking about MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER: A PARODY. You know how the premise of that series works, right? Each week, a curvy Cougar and her assistants hook up lonely rich dudes with the girls of their dreams. Well in our version of the show, things pretty much play out the same. The only difference is, the MILFy matchmaker slides into the bed with them! And you won’t have to worry about boring dinner scenes here. These millionaire men are looking for compatibility between the sheets! Thankfully, Patti and her clients are happy to oblige. But that’s only the beginning. To prove she’s got the best “candidates,” our MATCHMAKER mistress is testing out her ladies in the corporate office. If they can pleasure her male secretary, they’re the right girls for the job! And did we mention we’ve got AVN Award winning actress India Summer headlining the cast?

Word of warning, HALLOWEEN: A PARODY may be one of the darkest TAKE OFFS we’ve ever aired. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. This movie is turning down the camp factor and turning up the thrills! You’ll literally be jumping in your seat when you see our masked killer hunt down sexy pornstars like Andy San Dimas and Lexi Belle. Only instead of pulling a knife out of his pocket, he’s got another “instrument” to penetrate them with. It’s funny how quickly screams of fear can turn into moans of pleasure. And that’s exactly what’ll be happening here, as our frightened coeds learn to embrace the Wang of Michael Myers! Fans of the original movie will get some fun recreations too, including a whole new naked twist to that opening scene. You may want to bring someone to cuddle up with when HALLOWEEN: A PARODY kicks off (or at least leave the porch light on). Catch the big premiere, Saturday March 17 at 11pm E/P!