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Bad Li’l BRIDESMAIDS This Month On Playboy TV!

Posted: Feb 01, 2012 - 12:59pm by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

After watching the comedy hit Bridesmaids last summer, two words came to our heads: TAKE-OFF! Oh yea, the writers of that chick flick did half of the work for us with its raunchy undertones and R-rated catfights. The only thing they forgot was a naked shower scene and a couple of lesbians. Not to worry, our new premiere BRIDESMAIDS: A PARODY has got you covered in that department. For this naughty outing, our team’s assembled AVN Award darling Sarah Vandella as the MILFY Mrs.-to-be. That alone would’ve sold us, but then they rounded up the all-star bridal party! There’s Kagney Linn Karter as the bisexual BFF, Lexi Swallow as the horny “bad girl,” and sultry Sasha Knox as the bachelorette with the biggest boobs! But of course, that’s only part of the fun. BRIDESMAIDS: A PARODY is still hitting hard with the comedy by recreating all of those over-the-top moments you remember (Yes, that includes the infamous “bridal shop scene”). Take a peek at this Uncensored sneak preview, then make sure to catch the BRIDESMAIDS: A PARODY premiere, Saturday February 4 at 11pm E/P!

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PLAYBOY TV December Premieres Are Getting Sexy In The 70’s!

Posted: Dec 05, 2011 - 10:47am by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

Let’s just say we were feeling a bit groovy this month. Even though the disco era is long behind us, our two big December premieres are all about stirring up some of that Saturday Night Sex Fever. Come along in our classic TV time machine as we TAKE-OFF two classics from a hardcore era gone by.

First up, it’s the ragtag bunch of cabbies from TAXI: A HARDCORE PARODY. Recreating the legendary sitcom to a tee, this TAKE-OFF’s got that instrumental intro, Nardo’s big knockers, and Ron Jeremy doing a picture perfect Danny DeVito impression. But beyond that, it’s taking those HBO Taxicab Confessions fantasies to a whole new naughty level. Not only are we getting the gang to hook up in the garage, we’re taking them on the road! Streetwalkers, party girls, and sweet Jenny Hendrix are sticking their thumbs out on the sidewalk and we’re answering the call! Don’t have enough fare for a ride to the strip club? No problem. Our drivers have plenty of “other ways” to receive payment. And they’re doing it all with a hilarious spin. Every screwball character you remember is getting highlighted here. Latka the grease monkey, Crazy Jim, that sexy redheaded MILF…we’ve got a great set of doppelgangers ready to gang up on each other in the bedroom! See it for yourself, when TAXI: A HARDCORE PARODY premieres, Saturday December 10 at 11pm E/P!

Now, a quick disclaimer about premiere #2. For the record, CAN’T BE SANFORD & SON: A PARODY doesn’t have quite the same budget as our typical high-end TAKE-OFFs, but it DEFINITELY delivers in the hardcore department! This ode to the junkyard has a lot of heart (and a lot of booty) behind it. Made from the same team that brought us CAN’T BE DIFF’RENT STROKES, it’s tapping into every amateur fantasy you can think of. There’s black girls with big ol’ rumps, topheavy chocolate MILFs, and horny college babes getting freaky with father and son! And we’ll make sure all you SANFORD fans get a laugh out of the experience too. We’ve thrown in a Grady lookalike, cool cat Lamont, and a Redd Foxx impersonator full of all those wisecracks you remember. But most importantly, we’ve assembled some of the wildest urban sex scenes you’ve ever seen (at a real L.A. junkyard no less!). Plus, who wouldn’t want to ring in New Year’s Eve with the gorgeous Cleopatra Hendrix? Watch it all go down when CAN’T BE SANFORD & SON: A PARODY premieres, Saturday December 31 at 11pm E/P!

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PLAYBOY TV November Premieres Go For The Funny ‘Bone’!

Posted: Nov 01, 2011 - 11:39am by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

Let’s face it, sex flicks can be very funny. Often times they’re not meant to be (as evidenced by Rachel Perry’s weekly skewerings on THE STASH), but there are a few that make a point not to take themselves too seriously. This month’s TAKE-OFF premieres fall right into that category. Oh don’t get us wrong, they DEFINITELY deliver in the heat department…but they may just tickle your funny bone along the way.

Kicking things off, it’s SEINFELD 2: A PARODY. Now you already know what to expect with this one. The last SEINFELD TAKE-OFF did gangbusters on Playboy TV. The viewer feedback we got on Gerry, Elaina, Gorge, and (especially) “Krammer” was overwhelming and prompted us to crank out another sequel quick! And with over 100 episodes of the original series to work with, you can bet we got material you can yada yada yada about. This time out, we’re spoofing that classic “Bet” episode where everybody has to hold out from pleasuring themselves. In our version, the gang makes a wager to see who can hold out the longest from sex. And, knowing how the TAKE-OFFs do it, you can imagine how short that Bet will be! Gerry’s scoring groupies after standup shows, Elaina’s swinging both ways, and even Gorge is gorging on Asian tail. Plus with a side cast that includes Ann Marie Rios, Gracie Glam and Asa Akira, you KNOW it’s gonna be good! Catch the premiere of SEINFELD 2: A PARODY, Saturday November 12 at 11pm E/P!

Then, just in time for Thanksgiving weekend, it’s the cartoon crime solvers you know and love, brought to life and baring all! SCOOBY DOO: A PARODY is keeping all of those nudges and winks you remember from the series intact. Is Shaggy a secret stoner? Does Velma have urges for other women? Has there ever been a foursome in the back of that hippie van?!! Every mystery is getting solved here and we’ve got an A-list cast to do it! Straight from her run on NAUGHTY AMATEUR HOME VIDEOS comes “Goddess” Bree Olson as the ultra hot Daphne. Plus, we’ve got Bobbi Starr embracing her nerdy girl side as Velma with a capital “V!” Trapped in a spooky old house, the gang is on the hunt for their missing pup (and playing with a few kitties along the way). And, in what we think may be a TAKE-OFFs first, this movie’s got girl-on-girl-on-ghost action! Oh yea, even the monsters are getting some love here. See for yourself when SCOOBY DOO: A PARODY premieres, Saturday November 26 at 11pm E/P!

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PLAYBOY TV Goes Retro For October Premieres!

Posted: Sep 30, 2011 - 2:55pm by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

October is the time for Halloween and boy do we have some fun costume ideas for you to toy around with. There’s the classic 80’s “Brat Packer” ensemble from our BREAKFAST CLUB parody, 70’s chic from NOT CHARLIE’S ANGELS, or the traditional birthday suit look, which pretty much encompasses all of the starlets in this month’s TAKE-OFF premieres!

Starting things off on October 8, THE BREAKFAST CLUB: A PARODY is delivering all of the jean jackets, bandanas, and redheaded hotties you remember from the good ol’ 80’s. Assembling a cast that’s virtually identical to the John Hughes original, this movie’s focusing on 18-year-old delinquents who need to learn a few “hard” lessons before getting that high school diploma. Watch ‘em scramble through the halls of Saturday detention and find some new naughty ways to escape their boredom. Faye Reagan is a dead ringer for Molly Ringwald, right down to the perky freckled boobs! Her role as the “good girl” may seem convincing at first, but five minutes into the movie she’s throwing all those morals Daddy taught her out the window! Then there’s Andy San Dimas as goth chick Ally Needy. Quiet and sullen at first, she soon changes her tune when fist-pumping Dean gets a load of her DDs. Throw in bisexual cheerleaders and a couple of MILFy teachers and you’ve got yourself a TAKE-OFF! See for yourself when THE BREAKFAST CLUB: A PARODY premieres, Saturday October 8 at 11pm E/P!

Moving on to a franchise that’s on everybody’s minds, NOT CHARLIE’S ANGELS is 10 times better than any reboot we’ve ever seen. No matter how many times Drew Barrymore and ABC try to resurrect these babes, there’s always something missing. Well we’ve discovered the key ingredient – Nakedness! We’re taking the ANGELS and turning them to hardcore sinners! Watch Sunny Leone, Lexi Swallow, and Andy San Dimas go way undercover as Studio 54 dancers during the height of the free love. Charlie’s looking to shut down a sex trade operation and the only way to do it will be to send his girls into the trenches (and by trenches we mean sleazy 70’s bedrooms). This movie’s got groovy group sex, curvy hotties with giant afros, and even some “triple plays” for Bosley! Not only that, it’s directed by Will Ryder, who brought us classic parodies of THE BRADY BUNCH and THE COSBY SHOW. NOT CHARLIE’S ANGELS will be great way to spend the weekend before Halloween. Heck, put it on at the background of your party and your guests may wind up without a costume at the end of the night! Catch the big premiere, Saturday October 22 at 11pm E/P!

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PLAYBOY TV’s September Feature Premieres Offer Back To School Booty!

Posted: Sep 01, 2011 - 3:13pm by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

C’est la vie summer, you were fun while you lasted! September is here and on Playboy TV, clothes are falling faster than the leaves! Before you get too bummed out about extra school buses on the road and shorter days, here’s a bit of good news. We’ve got a slew of autumn premieres that are guaranteed to add some butternut to your squash.

What better way to start off the month than with some Savanna Samson Cougar fantasies? BEAUTIFUL STRANGER is chock full of Moms You’d Like to F….you get the picture. As we mentioned before, MILFy Savanna steals the show here, playing a bisexual escort who has just as much fun “servicing” the Janes as she does the Johns. Her newest client happens to be the multi-talented Kimberly Kane (who also directed the movie), sporting raven-black hair and an incredible rack! BEAUTIFUL STRANGER is also letting Kristina Rose and Bobbi Starr show off their hardcore skills, with a girl-on-girl scene that goes way beyond the normal Late Night fetishes. All of you “foot” fans will NOT be disappointed! And just to keep things traditional, there’s still plenty of heat between Savanna and Vivid stud Anthony Rosano (including naughty ideas for the back seat of the car!). See it all go down when BEAUTIFUL STRANGER premieres, Thursday September 8 at 10pm E/P!

Just in time for Back To School comes a hardcore high schooler you all know and love. Sporting a white tee, oversized glasses, and those trademark moon boots, NAPORNEON DYNAMITE is officially making his way to Playboy TV. And this tongue-in-cheeks parody is keeping all of the subtle humor intact. There’s Uncle Suave letting a few Midwest housewives into his pimped out 70’s van, nerdy bro Chip and his curvy wife Laquesha, and who could forget Pedro?! He’ll definitely get your “vote” after the living room cheerleader scene! But of course, the true star here is NAPORNEON himself! Danny Wylde does a great job channeling America’s favorite frizzy-haired goofball. Who knew a crooked smile could attract so many smoking hot chicks in the bedroom?! See for yourself when NAPORNEON DYNAMITE premieres, Saturday September 10 at 11pm E/P!

And speaking of porn parodies, our other big TAKE OFF of the month could easily be classified a full-blown epic. THE SEX FILES II: A PARODY is one of those rare sequels that actually surpasses the original. For one thing, the cast is way hotter this time around. This paranormal pumpathon has added newbies like Dani Jensen, Bree Daniels, and April O’Neil to the mix. But most importantly, it’s brought redheaded Kimberly Kane BACK as Dana Scully. Kim actually won an AVN Award for her first “performance” as the freaky FBI agent and this time out, she’s pushing the sci fi sex envelope even further. There’s group scenes with lady aliens, shower sex with Agent Mulder, and some incredibly hot solo stuff. Plus it’s actually got a pretty interesting plot too! Trust us, you’ll become a hardcore Believer after watching THE SEX FILES II: A PARODY. Catch the big premiere, Saturday September 24 at 11pm E/P!

And finally, we’re offering up an early taste of Halloween with UNDERGROUND FETISH QUEENS. Right before October kicks off, you’ll get plenty of tricks n’ treats courtesy of Alexis Amore and Nikki Rhodes. This all-girl movie’s got chicks with painted faces, leggy fishnet outfits, and even a few whips and chains. Forget those crappy Spirit stores, if you want some real ghoulish costume ideas, watch this! Jayden Jaymes is dabbling with Little Red Riding fetishes, Sienna West went goth, and Shyla Stylez is sporting the DD “birthday suit” ensemble. But don’t think this flick is all about playing dress up. These ladies are putting their bodies to WORK with some ridiculously erotic scenes that definitely push the boundaries of good taste. But hey, Playboy TV is all about taking “risks.” And you won’t catch a Late Night Movie quite as freaky as UNDERGROUND FETISH QUEENS anywhere else. See it all go down on Thursday, September 29 at 11pm E/P!

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PLAYBOY TV’s June Late Night Premieres Promise All-Star TAKE-OFFS!

Posted: May 31, 2011 - 3:08pm by Playboy TV
Filed Under: Take Offs

Roll out the red carpet and we’ll get gorgeous adult starlets to strut naked across it. Sure names like Nikki Benz and Bree Olson aren’t as recognizable as Angelina Jolie or Cameron Diaz, be we can GUARANTEE they’ll deliver better onscreen “performances.” Want proof? Then whip out your calendar and mark down these premiere dates, because it’s going to be one helluva June on Playboy TV!

Our first big premiere promises some major “stars of tomorrow.” Sure Jayla and Sunset aren’t household names now, but after watching what they do in CAN’T BE DIFFERENT STROKES: THE REUNION, you’ll definitely want to join their fan club. This movie is turning Mr. Drummond’s New York penthouse into a full-blown sex den and every starlet plays her role perfectly. There’s sweet sister Kimberly getting it on with her older black bro, the naughty neighbor girl laying down on the luxury couch, even MILFy Mrs. Garrett is taking one for the team! But, of course, that’s just part of the fun. The true scene stealer of CAN’T BE DIFFERENT STROKES is Mr. Shorty Mac! Though the great Gary Coleman has sadly left us, we can happily say that Shorty does a great job of carrying on his wisecracking legacy. Plus he’s proving that a little dude can definitely pack a hardcore punch! See for yourself when CAN’T BE DIFFERENT STROKES: THE REUINION premieres, Saturday June 4 at 11pm E/P!

We all know about June gloom, but don’t fret! We purposely scheduled GODDESS IN TRAINING: BREE OLSON right in the middle of the month to wipe away all of the clouds from the outside world. Oh yea, you’ll be hearing A LOT from Bree in the near future. As every hardcore Playboy TV fan is aware, Charlie Sheen’s former goddess is now our brand new host of NAUGHTY AMATEUR HOME VIDEOS! But unfortunately you’ll have to wait until July for that to kick off. Until then, we thought we’d treat you to some of the best moments from Bree’s legendary adult career. This flick happened to be shot before she hit the big time (which actually makes it better). Young, innocent, and down for anything, it’s clear li’l Ms. Olson had A LOT of potential way back when. Watch her do stuff with girls, guys, and everything in between when GODDESS IN TRAINING: BREE OLSON premieres, Thursday June 16 at 10pm E/P!

Up next, it’s gorgeous Jessica Jaymes headlining CSI: MIAMI: A PARODY! Truly one of the adult world’s heaviest hitters, Jessica’s got tens of thousands of Twitter followers, a tricked out MySpace page, and enough sex appeal to cross over to the mainstream. That’s right, she’s one of those select few who’ve actually “broken through” to a legitimate acting career (we all remember her from Weeds, right?). Not only that, she’s an official Hustler Honey and a former Penthouse Pet! Now she’s strutting her stuff for Playboy TV in this wild TAKE OFF from the beaches of south Florida. This movie’s got string bikinis, bar hookups, and a nice bit of mystery to keep our fans guessing. Will Jess and her partner Tabitha Stevens crack the case? Or will the bad guys take a crack at their bodies in the bedroom? We’re thinking a little of both. See for yourself, when CSI: MIAMI: A PARODY premieres, Saturday June 18 at 11pm E/P!

And finally, we’re topping off June with a delicious naked dessert. Blonde cutie Nikki Benz is ready to whet your sexual appetite with the premiere of TOP HEAVY CHEF: A PARODY! Sporting that long cooking hat, a white apron, and nothing else, this AVN darling is doing all kinds of sexy deeds in the kitchen. And don’t think we’re stopping there. This flick’s also got Tabitha Stevens playing with naughty “utensils,” Jules Sterling’s famous cherry pie, and bus boys giving Brooke Haven a “tip!” The formula for this movie is simple: take four gorgeous pornstars, add in three helpings of sex toys, a dash of whipped cream, and rub accordingly. Then top it off with some bulging studs in chefs’ hats and you’ve got yourself the hardcore recipe for TOP HEAVY CHEF: A PARODY! Watch what “rises” when this big premiere hits, Saturday June 25 at 11pm E/P!

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